At a football match ground.
Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne? Boy: Goal karan lai. Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
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Santa: Im a proud father.
My son is in medical college. Banta: Whats he studying?" Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
Jeeto: Why do Farts stink? Santa:
Jeeto: Why do Farts stink? Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!
Banta: What's the difference between
an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.
Banta was driving down the
highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms." By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.
Santa found answer to the
most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
Petrol ke rate badhne par
Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa: My dad was an
extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out.
Banta: Why is the Police
nicknamed "The heart of the country"? Santa: It beats, beats, beats....
Once Professor Santa asked a
plumber to come to his college. You know why? Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON
di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
Santa: I kiss my wife
everyday before leaving for office, what about u? Banta: Me too, after u leave
Santa was caught for speeding
and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Dress code 4 a party
BLACK TIES ONLY. Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!
Santa: Why Americans stop printing
stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson? Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke
gutter mein gir gaye the. Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko
kya dena chahiye? Santa: Birla cement. Banta: Kyun? Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
Santa went to battery shop
n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
Santa: What's difference between man
& Superman? Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.
Nurse came out with the newborn kid
, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, Its a gal
Santa falls in luv with
a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
Banta ped pe chada to
upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Banta: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai. Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
Teacher: What should be in
a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Pappu while filling up a for
m: What should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long.....!
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi Submitted by Siddharth, SaAK
Santa and Jeeto were on
an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws. Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him! Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.
Jeeto: U tell a man
something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other. Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten
by a mad dog! Banta: Oh! Thats terrible. Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."
Q: Why was Santa writing
the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam.
Santa & Banta got tired
of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa! Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
Santa standing on platform suddenly
jumps on the railway track. Banta: Santa u'll die. Santa: U'll die bcoz havent u heard train is coming on platform?
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta,
I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary. Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
Jeeto: I didn't know you
smoked. When did you start? Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap
papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
Q: Why did Santa throw
the butter out of the window? A: He wanted to see butterfly!
Banta sent sms to Santa:
Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha. Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte
kyon ho? Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
A lady calls Santa for
repairing door bell. Santa doesnt turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
Lady to inspector Santa: My
husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
Santa waitin at bus stop
in UK along with 3 women. When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do
thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're
gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you! Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?
Santa went to see a
gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho? Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.
Santa was looking at a painting
for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.
Santa was standing in sun
on a hot sunny day. Banta asked: What are you doing? Santa: Drying sweat
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor
ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua? Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Santa goes to buy an underwear
. On choosing one he asks: How much for this? Shopkeeper: Rs 500 Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.
Jeeto & Preeto were talking
about their new milkman. Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly. And so quickly too!, said Preeto While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole. Banta: R u ok? Santa: Yeah! Banta: Did u break anything? Santa: No, there's nothing down here
Santa suffering from cold was shivering
. His son called a doc. Doc: wht happened? Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai
Santa was riding on a horse
. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles. Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'