Santa walks into a library
& says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
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Santa was drawing money from
ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. Its ****. Sant: U r wrong. Its 1394.
Teacher: I want you to
tell me the longest sentence you can think of. Pappu: Life imprisonment!
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut
sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal. Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai. Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
Teacher: What should be in
a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
An Englishman and Santa inside
the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan
Singh goes for a walk in evening? Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
Santa dials a number. A
girl receives the call. Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here. Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
Santa: Sir hun meri salary
wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai. Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend
nu gift dena hai, ki devan? Banta: Gold ring de de. Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar. Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
Pappu was writing his father's
name on a 1000 Watt bulb. Santa asked him: What are you doing? Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna
Lake? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo. Pappu: Who's Banta? Santa: Pata nai. Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.
Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke
bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega? Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai
Santa sent a SMS to
his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered'
Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi
k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge? Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.
Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe
neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai. Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami? Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
A man to Santa: Ur
friend is kissing ur wife in ur home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.
SARDAR JI TOOK OUT HIS
WALLET, IN THE BUS, HIS PHOTO FELL OUT OF HIS WALLET, HE GOES 2 A LADY,'MADAM JI SARI UPHAR KAROGE PHOTO LENA HAI, AND ALL THE OTHER MEN IN THE BUS BEATED HIM UP!!!!!!!! By Sonia
Q: A Man asked Santa,
"Akal badhi ya bhains? " A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
At a football match ground.
Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne? Boy: Goal karan lai. Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
Santa: Im a proud father.
My son is in medical college. Banta: Whats he studying?" Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
Jeeto: Why do Farts stink? Santa:
Jeeto: Why do Farts stink? Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!
Banta: What's the difference between
an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.
Banta was driving down the
highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms." By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.
Santa found answer to the
most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
Petrol ke rate badhne par
Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa: My dad was an
extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out.
Banta: Why is the Police
nicknamed "The heart of the country"? Santa: It beats, beats, beats....
Once Professor Santa asked a
plumber to come to his college. You know why? Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON
di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
Santa: I kiss my wife
everyday before leaving for office, what about u? Banta: Me too, after u leave
Santa was caught for speeding
and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Dress code 4 a party
BLACK TIES ONLY. Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!
Santa: Why Americans stop printing
stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson? Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke
gutter mein gir gaye the. Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko
kya dena chahiye? Santa: Birla cement. Banta: Kyun? Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
Santa went to battery shop
n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
Santa: What's difference between man
& Superman? Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.
Nurse came out with the newborn kid
, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, Its a gal
Santa falls in luv with
a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
Banta ped pe chada to
upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Banta: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai. Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
Pappu while filling up a for
m: What should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long.....!
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi Submitted by Siddharth, SaAK
Santa and Jeeto were on
an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws. Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him! Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.
Jeeto: U tell a man
something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other. Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten
by a mad dog! Banta: Oh! Thats terrible. Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."
Q: Why was Santa writing
the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam.
Santa & Banta got tired
of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa! Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.