FATHER: How are your grades,
son? SON: Under water, Dad. FATHER: Under water? What do you mean? SON: They're below C level. Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
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Aik dafa aik aeroplane main
3 mussafir safar kar rahe they .In main se aik russian tha aik american aur aik pakistani tha. ittifaq se teeno aik sath bethey howe they . russian ne kaha k space par sab se pehley ham gaye they.American ne kaha k sab se Pehley chand par ham gaye they.Pakistani ne kuch der tak socha aur phir hansa aur kaha k inshallah sab se pehley sooraj (sun) par ham jaye gay.................tigerpaki03459029997
Man : How old is
your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born. Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
Teacher : Correct the sentence,
"A bull and a cow is grazing in the Field" Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How? Student : Ladies First.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
Waiter : I've stewed liver,
boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
a young boy was arrested
for murder, his father went to visit him in prison.he told him that their is densely grass around the house and u c that i am old enough, 2 dig those grass. u were the 1 who must dig those grass.boy replied pls don`t ever dig those grass bcoz i hide many guns there. his dad tell the police about it, the police went there and dig all over but they finds nothing. dad went back to his son he said police have dug those grass but they did`nt anything. boy replied i was trying to assist u. arofhizo
little kid asks: mommy don't
u have the colgate of aquafresh. mocharlzero
Indian mathematicians meeting held at
New Delhi yesterday - they have decided to change the name of zero. The new name will be GANGULY.NOMA--03455916346
Bob calls in to his
job: "Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work." The boss says: "You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that." 2 hours later Bob calls: "Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house." Osman +923014876609
fyuefuejjfhjshuidyiejkcxj ehkefhdk samajh aaya nahi na mujhe bhi
fyuefuejjfhjshuidyiejkcxjehkefhdk samajh aaya nahi na mujhe bhi samajh nahi aayanikhil
bhagwaan sabse zyada khush kab
hota hay us waqt jab kisi ladki ki izzat lutt rahi ho or woh chilla rahi hoo bhagwan ke liye mujhe chordo hanif
When i Die , bury
me deep Ten feet down fast as leep Place my Maths book on my head Tell my teacher that i am dead place my geography book on my chest Tell my teacher how i am at rest Place my physics in my right hand Tell my teacher nothing i understand place my english book on my left Tell my teacher i tried my best Also tell my teachers not to cry For they are those who made me die.Osman (0301-4876609 /
Aap main Aur Malaika sherawat
main kiya fark hey? color? no. Pesa? no. daish? no. phir kiya hey. janab woh utne kapre ka kastoom bana leti he jitna aap naak saf karne k liye istamal karte ho. ABBAS MUX
Russians dugg 100 meters and found copper
Russians dugg 100 meters and found copper cable and said that they had telephones 500 years ago Americans dugg 200 meters and found optical fibre and said they had internet facility 1000 years ago. indians dugg 1000 meters and didnt find anything and said that we had wireless technology 2000 years ago sayalisalih +919895137022
Boy 2 girl - kya
tum mere sath dance karogi. Girl reply - me bacche ke sath dance nahi karti. Boy - Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
Common Dialoug om exams &
1st wedding night- "Kaisa Hua"?? "Acha Hua, thoda bada tha, thoda chooth gaya, aata tha per thik se hua nahi!!mohan amritsar
Home : A place where
you can scratch where it itches. Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills. LOVE : Loss Of Valuable Energy WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever Umer 03004844948
Years ago i came in2
dis world naked & screaming My goodness, now things have changed when im naked somebody else does the screaming.bigboy 0761725942
The short man was chased
by 2 policeman coz he usually steal "FRENCH POLONY", he ran to his home and hide into a babywalker.They knew that he he was there so checked the place until they give up.On teir way to the door they saw this baby in a babywaker the went to him and say"he is so cute, if we come back we will bring sweets,cakes and cold drink" he said with an adult voice "Dont forget to bring my favourite frnch polony".......slie
eik aadmi aadi raat ko
apni moti biwi say yeh sisak sisak k marna theak hai ya eik dum.(BIWI)eik dum.(AaDMI)to apni dusri tang b mujh per rakh do. tari gujjar
GIRLS 1970: Jia beqraar hai
aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma taira intzar hai GIRLS 2006: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma WERNA DOSRA TIYAR HAI....sonia, 03338007007
The world thineest book has
only one word written in it"EVERYTHING" and the bok is tittled by "WHAT WOMAN WANT " pooja
Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing
. It was discovered in 1773. Sardar:Thank God I was born after that . Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .Amna khan
BREAKING NEWS:Nawab Akbar Bugtii Alive. He
BREAKING NEWS:Nawab Akbar Bugtii Alive. He escaped from the back door of his cave On his Honda CD 70 & was Shouting, "MAIN TAY HONDA ee LAYSAAN"! Funny lover From Karachi 0301-2507279
costomer- whose eggs is this shopkeeper
costomer- whose eggs is this shopkeeper - its mine costomer - ok so give me one dozen of chicken s eggs
wife -suniye kya aap kitchen
se garam masala la kar aayenge husband -magar yahan to nahin hai wife-- mujha pata tha tumha nahin mila ge is liya main pehla se la aaye baghwan !!!!!!!!!dilawar ali ahah (madeji)
aik din aik larke na
apne mummy ko dekha aur kehne laga dekho mummu aik hath chor kar cycle chala raha hooon thodi daar ke bad wo dubara wahan se guzra aur kehna laga dekho mummy main do hath choor kar cycle chala raha hoon thode daar ke baad wo dobara wahan se guzra aur kehne laga dekho mummy main do dantoon ke baghar cycle chala raha hoon dilawar ali shah
A man forgot to zip
up.So a lady tells him:U LEFT yr GARAGE open.Man asks:DID U C MY BLACK MERC parked INSIDE?No,she said JUST A MINI COOPER with a FLAT TIRE MJAKES
A little girl to her
mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennes like a peanut" Mom: " Do you mean its little" girl: " No Mom! Its salty." Ramis Ali
Q: Agar do pipal ke
Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge? A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipalzaibi 03217566867.
U luv sumone... u marry
sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!zaibi 03217566867
People who do lots of
work.make lots of mistakes, People who do less work.make less mistakes, People who do no work.make no mistakes, People who make no mistakes.get promoted.zaibi 03217566867
Mom: Beti badi ho kar
kya karogi? Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya? Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.zaibi 03217566867
Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi
tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath... Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya hozaibi 03217566867
An old to Doc: Doc,
I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up. Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.zaibi 03217566867
A boy goes to see
a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad.zaibi 03217566867
Ek ladka ek ladki k
saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badalteyzaibi 03217566867
Last nite i had a
dream abt U... I saw tht v both were gettig married on the same day... Ur wife was beautiful but mine is not... I asked GOD: Why it is so??? GOD replied: "BALANCE OF NATURE"...!!!LKH...SHG
My girlfriend called me to
her house one day. I went there & found her sister alone in the house. She was unbelievably sexythan my GF. She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, make love to me once" I turned around & walked to thefront door towards my car. Amazingly I found my GF standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust." Moral: Its always better to keep the CuNDuMS in the car & not in the wallet!!R.P.
A Chinese man took his
pregnant wife to the hospital tp deliver... The wife however gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG....Deeb
Gal: Is dress ka kya
price hai? Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss. Girl: Aur us dress ka? Shopkeeper: 10 kiss. Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.bk singh
A 90 yr old man
started making love with his 85 yr wife, he started sucking her breats and after few seconds the man expired, GUESS WHY? Autoposy Report : death due to expired milk.
class me teacher lacture de
raha tha, bachon ne dekha us ki zip khuli hui hai, bachay hansne lagay, Teacher: kyun hans rahe ho, ab agar hansay ko bahir nikaal ke khara ker dunga. Prince
A guy donated blood to
his girlfriend. After a while they broke up and he wanted it back. The girl threw a pad at him and said. i'll pay u back in monthly instalments. shana
Munna:Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay
ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai. Circuit:Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho. Munna:Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.(Osman 0301-4876609
Munna:Bolay to darad kahan hai
aapko. Patient(F): Pooray badan mien hai Munna:Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao. Patient:Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her left cheek and says here, etc. Munna:Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.Osman 0301-4876609
Patient:Doctor aap ko yakeen hai
ke mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun ke pichlay dino aik doctormeri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi. Munna:Haan ray meray ko pakka yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga. Osman 0301-4876609
Mother to her tennage daughter: I
Mother to her tennage daughter: I think it's time that we should talk abt sex.. Daughter: Sure Mom!!, What u want to know?..canored
Difference b/w panties of 1970
& 2000 :- In the 70's you had to pull down panties to see the buttocks,In 2000, you have to seperate the buttocks to see the panties. Osman 0301-4876609
What is the difference between
secretary & private secretary? Ans: secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR. Osman 0301-4876609